I'll Scream So Loud
by Soncnica
Summary: Till I drown you out.


**Ummm…no comment….and I think I kind of hurt Dean here!? Huh, what's that all about, you might ask!? No clue.**

**The title and summary come from Crossfade's song Drown you out. I own nothing, so…don't sue! I have 5 Euros in my wallet and I need to find a way to go home with those on Friday…somehow…don't yet know how though…gosh. **

**And Bug…because you did your job right…**_LOL_

**Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. Sorry!!!**

**Enjoy…**

**---**

There was a voice in his head…no, no…not his head…the room…it was in the room…it was whispering something…no, no…it was screaming at him…it was a deep voice, a gruff voice…it was whispering again now…it made his ears hurt…even if it was just a breathless whisper…it made his heart clench, made him wanna vomit and never to eat again, made his chest hurt and his head feel like it was gonna split open.

The voice appeared out of nowhere. It just came. Sneaked into his head and stayed there…hissing at him, murmuring things to him…bad things, evil things, wrong things.

"STOP!!!"

SNSN

It all started suddenly…with no warning…in the dead of a summer night.

First Sam heard a whimper: "Stop it…", then a groan: "Please, stop it…no, no, no…", then a whisper "Please…stop it…please…" then a cry: "STOP!!!", and then all hell broke loose.

The bed on which Dean was lying on shuddered when he leaped off of it, the blankets all tangled around his legs with cross-eyed sleepy eyes and his hair a mess.

Sam rose up from his bed even before Dean's feet touched the ground, reaching his hands towards Dean. It was an instinct to do that; an instinct born out of years of sleeping in the same room as his brother; an instinct that was encrypted in his blood…the same red, hot liquid he shared with his brother.

"Dean…"

He tried with a whispered word, not yet knowing what the hell was going on, not wanting to scare his brother and when Dean flinched and stepped back from his hand and hit his foot on the bed, Sam tried with a louder voice: "Dean."

SNSN

There was something close to him, something he could quite define and it made him flinch: "Stop it!!!"

He placed his hands over his ears and pressed, his fingers curling around his ear. It hurt; the pressure, but the pain from the voice was much more intense. He needed to block it somehow; make it stop…drown it out.

"STOP, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP…STOP, YOU SON OF A BITCH…!!!"

SNSN

"Dean!!"

Okay, this was time to panic, because this…this was happening…Sam just didn't think this thing would hit this hard.

SNSN

Nasty things were being whispered into his ear, like poison dripping into him, running through his veins.

_Sammy will die…one way or another…he will, you know?_

"Stop it!!! Son of a bitch, stop it…!!!"

_Sammy's gonna die, he's gonna die, he's gonna bleed, he's gonna crack right open and die, you're precious little brother is going to die..._

"Stop, stop, STOP IT!!!"

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…dead..._

"STOP IT!!!"

He could feel it…Sam dying…he could feel his brother's life slipping right through his fingers, his blood…all warm and red. The voice was making every word feel real.

SNSN

The same few words were yelled by his brother into the tiny motel room, spilling out of Dean's mouth; words of pain and fear and sorrow and _help me_.

Sam was at a lost as to what to do. Dean was going all postal on him and he didn't know what to do to help his screaming brother. The only thing he did know…he needed to stop Dean from screaming so loud; somehow. He could punch Dean, make him go out like a light, but…capturing Dean into his nightmare…it would be too cruel. It's better for his brother to stay awake and fighting.

SNSN

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…dead, dead, dead…_

"STOP!!!"

Feeling the words…feeling what they did to him…what they made him feel… it felt like he died a little inside with every word that the voice said.

SNSN

Dean's voice was almost piercingly loud and Sam was afraid that one more shout would bring the motel manager knocking at their door. He really needed Dean to stop yelling.

Dean was pacing the room, stumbling over the carpet, chairs, table…his hands were pressed to his ears, his eyes wild, and Sam started to walk towards him only to stop a few feet in front of Dean: "Dean, calm down."

"Stop it, stop it!!!"

Dean's voice was a deep burn in Sam's chest.

"Dean, come on…man…calm down."

Sam was all for calm and steady, but seeing his brother flinching and shying away from his touch, his words and his voice…yeah…panic. Now.

"Dean, man…stop yelling," he made a step closer, cornering Dean, so that his brother's back was almost against the wall…almost, but not touching.

"Stop, please…"

It wasn't a scream, it was a plea…a whispered plea coming from his brother that made Sam think that he has gotten through to Dean, that made him think that maybe now…that maybe now he can come close to Dean and talk to him. Touch him.

Sam made a step closer, his bare feet in contact with the cold wood of the floor: "Dean, it's okay. Everything is okay. You're okay."

"Stop, stop, stop…STOP!!"

"Damn it, Dean!"

Sam made those two steps that were dividing him from his brother, grabbed him by his forearms, slid his hands to grab Dean's wrists, slammed his brother's back up against the wall and pinned his hands above his head: "Dean!!!"

SNSN

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…your little brother…dead…Sammy, Sammy…split wide open…what a mess that will make…Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…_

"STOP IT, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!! STOP, STOP, STOP!!!"

The words were painful. They made him feel everything. Sam dying; they made him feel it…the feeling of loosing Sam.

SNSN

Dean's voice was mixing with tears now…Sam was so close to his brother's mouth that the scream physically hurt his ear.

"Dean, man…stop it!"

Dean kept banging the back of his head on the wall, and then suddenly that stopped and he screamed again.

Sam could feel his brother's breath on his cheeks and he wasn't even that close to him…

Dean's eyes…they were icy green and all kinds of messed up; confusion, pain, fear, panic…they were seeing everything else, but Sam. Dean's bright green gaze was seeing something that…Sam couldn't see, but he wished he could.

SNSN

He could hear…he could hear the words getting stronger, louder…he couldn't stop them, he couldn't fight them, they were burning him, making his blood boil…making him feel like he just lost his brother for ever. And the feeling hurt so bad…he couldn't even breathe anymore…

_Sam, Sam, Sam…he'll die, and there is nothing you will be able to do about it…nothing at all._

"Stop, stop, stop…STOP!!"

His back collided with something, his hands became immobile, there was some sort of a pressure on him, near him…a warmth of some sort, something familiar. It took his already nonexistent breath away.

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…dies…_

"STOP IT, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!! STOP, STOP, STOP!!!""

The back of his head hurt.

SNSN

The room was bright enough from the street light that Sam could see how sweaty Dean was, he could feel it where his hands were pinning Dean's on the wall…his brother's heartbeat was through the roof and his breathing was all over the place too. Until it almost stopped.

"Dean, man…breathe! Hey…Dean…"

SNSN

_Sammy will die, die, die…and you won't be able to stop it._

He couldn't breathe…the feeling of loosing Sam…the thought of that happening suffocated him.

SNSN

"Dean…man? Hey, hey…breathe…come on."

Sam untangled his right hand from where he had it pressed over Dean's wrists and pressed it palm down over his brother's chest…the rising and falling was too slow, too shallow. He pressed down slightly, right below the amulet, the face of it begging him to help his brother…and made a circle over Dean's chest hoping that it would help his brother breathe. He knew that holding Dean in this position was putting pressure on his brother's ribs and lungs, making it even harder for him to breathe, but it was the only way he could control Dean's arms and have one hand free if needed.

SNSN

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…Sammy with the puppy eyes…dead… _

"Stop!"

There was pressure on his chest…soft, warm pressure spinning in circles, making him catch his breath.

SNSN

"Dean, yeah…good…breathe. Now, just stop yelling and we'll be fine."

But with a deep breath came a struggle that made Sam grab Dean's wrists again with both hands.

"Dean…damn it."

He whispered and leaned his head a bit to the left trying to catch Dean's eyes, but they were uncatchable.

They will need to ride this out somehow. It's the only way…and it pained him; to see Dean like this…screaming, helpless, panicked, scared…it pained Sam to no end.

As Sam saw it, he only had one job to do…keep Dean from hurting himself or him for that matter and keep him quiet.

Dean's knees buckled and Sam just gripped stronger and pulled his brother up again.

SNSN

_Sammy's gonna die and you're gonna watch…_

"SHUT UP, STOP!!!"

SNSN

The room felt lonely. Dim. Shadows in the corners. A gray table with two duffels on, two beds still warm from sleep, a small yellow couch, a TV, a small kitchen where you couldn't even boil an egg in, a fridge with four beers and one three quarters eaten pizza, three pairs of socks in the bathroom sink, a toothpaste with some of the white paste hanging out, and a hard, brown wall where Sam had Dean pinned to.

Them breathing was the only sound in the room…Sam was so close to his brother, he could smell the toothpaste in Dean's breath.

Dean's face had little lines of pain on it, his eyes squeezing shut, just to fly open the next minute, his teeth clattering, his mouth working, forming words…silent words that Sam, even when he was standing so close to his brother that their toes were touching, couldn't hear.

SNSN

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…your little brother…dead…Sammy, Sammy…split wide open…what a mess that will make…Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…_

"SHUT UP, STOP!!!"

SNSN

Sam adjusted the grip he had on his brother's wrists, holding them both with one hand again and placed the other hand over Dean's mouth: "Shhhhhh, Dean…"

He just prayed that whatever curse the witch placed on Dean, would break soon. Like in a minute or so. Or now would be even better. Because this needed to stop, before they would get some unwanted visitors.

If he would have known that this thing would have been this bad, he would have taken Dean somewhere else. That's for sure. He would have taken him somewhere private where Dean could scream himself hoarse and no one would hear it.

Dean's lips were moving even under his palm, they were spit slick and sweaty. He was breathing through his nose, his nostrils flailing, his breath warm on the side of Sam's palm.

The room felt so lonely to Sam when he saw one tear slip down Dean's cheek and stop on his hand.

SNSN

_Sammy, Sam, Sam, Sam…Sammy's gonna die, die, die, die…and there is nothing you'll be able to do about it…_

He whimpered, he couldn't scream anymore, he couldn't open his mouth, there was something holding them shut…glued together…he needed to scream…the take the pressure off, to drown the voice into his screams…but there was something soft and warm on his lips, something strangely familiar. A touch. The touch.

SNSN

His brother's lips were moving under his palm, little whimpers coming from a closed mouth…and then Dean began to struggle.

His feet began to hit out, his hands began to push against Sam's hold, his head started to move left and right, his eyes became feral, wild like a lion's...

Sam gripped Dean's wrists harder, probably leaving bruises, leaned his chest flat over his brother's and pressed him harder to the wall. Dean left out a sound that was bordering on pain, but Sam leaned his mouth to Dean's right ear and screamed: "DEAN!!!"

SNSN

His back hurt and his chest felt like there was a weight pressing him down. His wrists burned, his blood burned, his heart burned…and there was a breeze at his ear and a word: "DEAN!!!"

It was Sam…his little brother's voice and he was sure that it was a voice he didn't want to drown out. He wanted to swim towards it, drown every other voice out and just…drown in his little brother's voice right now.

SNSN

In the silent night of a hot summer in a room that didn't feel so lonely anymore…Dean's eyes teary and Sam's no different…Sam brought Dean back. Back from wherever the witch took him.

"You good?"

"Hate witches…man I hate them so bad." Dean shook his head, trying to clear his vision only to find himself nose to Sam's chin.

Talk about weird.

"You okay?"

"It wasn't me who was under the witches spell. It wasn't me who was hearing stuff, which by the way...what were you hearin'?"

Dean lowered his head, resting his eyes on Sam's and his bare feet.

"Nothin' Sammy. Drop it."

"Dean..." Sam lowered his head, trying once again to catch Dean's eyes, but he failed big time when Dean untangled his arms from his hold and pushed at his chest: "Get off me, dude."

Sam laughed a bitter laugh.

"Did you have to hold my wrists so hard? Man..." Dean whined while rubbing his wrists together, feeling the burn Sam's hands left behind.

"Dude, you were all over the place, I had to do something." Sam chuckled and sat down on his bed, watching Dean pour himself a glass of water, coughing when it touched his sore throat.

"Next time just knock me out."

"Sure", _never_, "...so you're planning to have a next time?"

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

End of discussion.

It was good to hear his brother's voice…damn good.

**---**

**The End…**_bites lip_**…I just wanted Sam to slam Dean into a wall...is that so bad? **_giggles _**I think I watched Salvation one too many times.**_ shakes head_


End file.
